The Gift

The Gift

The Gift

How interesting…

The time between newsletters is getting longer and longer… the events are getting stronger and stronger… and the realizations are coming so fast and furious that there seems nowhere to logically begin to share experiences!

Is this how life is rolling out for you too?!

It has also been said that this is how it will go from now on, and if anything, buckle up cause it’s going to speed up!

So the dilemma as I contemplate where to start is the confusion around where I am.

Perhaps I can clear this up for myself with you here. Integration is imperative.

Poking at ourselves endlessly – cause that’s just our “way” of living – becomes complicated at some point, because one experience hasn’t fully “blended in” before another is loaded up. But there is a beauty in that, too.

So, I’ll begin where I’ve ended.  Just recently, after a trip to Hawaii that included a visit with dear friends James and Marise on the Big Island (who are now cut off from their home by lava – a life passage in its own right) we came home to one of the most powerful Cacao Journeys we’ve ever held.

What was so amazing?  Just… everything.

New people diving in so deeply.  Veterans of years of Journeys sharing the energy of their passage…at one point, I stood in front of a young man of about 25 years, who has come for almost two years already, shining the Ajna Light inches from his face, thinking: “You go, Jeff.  You bet I’ll hold this Light for you.” And I just leaned a hip into the couch beside me and settled in to shine the Light till he seemed “done” – and the camaraderie of this young gentleman and this 60-year old woman fearlessly walking this road was deliciously indescribable.

The bond of a common Goal.  The gratitude of a shared Path.  Palpable.  Precious.  Perfect.

Then a sweet young man who has recovered from addiction through yoga sang the most powerful Mantra in Kundalini Yoga – the Mool Mantra – in the most elegant way, singing us out of our Ceremony.  It felt like the Divine was Loving us up in every way imaginable.

The next weekend we hosted Jerry for his Wisdom of the Voice one-day workshop and for the first time I really understood and heard the overtones we can create with our voices.  Heard that magical sound that “no one is really making” but you cannot deny is there. Something new created through the presence of two. The voice holds so much! So powerful! SO cathartic.

A personal Journey into the universe…

The next weekend we took a personal Journey into the Universe.

I touched the grief of humanity and let my voice and tears find the depth of the sadness we carry at how we ARE with each other.  I heard cries come from within my belly I would never have attributed to my self – soft, keening moans of the most exquisite mourning.  And tragically, wracking sobs.  It was an incredible relief to have that OUT of my body, expressed by my Soul, embraced by my Heart.

The next weekend we hosted a Family Constellation with guest Facilitator Brigitte Sztab, as well as Paul and Sayde and Bo’s Instructor, Jan Hull, in their FC Facilitator Training programs. Constellations are incredible.

Absolutely astonishing.

As we “step in” to “channel” someone’s family for the resolution of traumas from many generations, it isn’t surprising that our own wounds are what we are actually stepping into – it’s never an “accident” when you end up in your own deepest wound.

I found this especially true as I crawled on hands and knees to the “Grand-Mother” in the Constellation, as the “mother”, and finally laid my head in the lap of the woman whose love has always puzzled me, and finally received. With my own daughter standing at the end of this line-age of mothers.  Wow.

And while all of this has been happening, a drama in my life has been brewing that has squeezed me so tightly that I finally cracked wide open.  With all that stuff above pushing and shoving my energy this way and that, leaving so little room to THINK, that without realizing it, my deepest wound came up for air.

And I realized that this wound has been like an ancient whale, massively moving the currents of my life, deep beneath the surface – sending things flying, bobbing, swirling – for decades!

All of my years, really.

And as it rose to the surface, the suction of the breach, the slapping of the landing, the echo of the splash, all created so much internal chaos that there was nothing left, but to surrender.

And to realize that the breach is often the deepest breath a whale takes – using massive amounts of energy to come out of the water to gulp at Life.

Oh, My God.

And seeing the effects of this massive energy moving through a life took so much courage I could barely do it.  So much shame at the pain my wounded self has spread through this life.

But what a Gift!

Once that’s done, it’s done.  Once that’s done, an almost eerie quiet comes over the Soul as a lot of the protection is no longer required.  Life seems so doable.

Nothing can be worse than facing that wound.  Nothing can be more exquisite than surviving it.

And i lived!

And so, as the drama wound down, and I realized I was going to live through it, I picked up my Course in Miracles book to see what today’s Lesson is – 194!

How absolutely amazing. The final Giant Stride – #7 – of the Course.  “I place the future in the Hands of God.”  The Lesson that, if accepted, will take you “past countless obstacles and set your foot on the lawns before the gate of Heaven. Resting untroubled in God’s Hands, sure that only good can come to you.”  Removing the block to remembering your Self by dealing with the “fear of future pain” – to BE in timelessness – “a moment OUT of time”, in which you breach the bondage of this illusion and are no longer a slave to time, transformed – a true remedy for anxiety, depression, guilt and shame …all thoughts of “sin”.

Just imagine how our entire attitude towards every moment in our life would change if we deeply and fully KNEW that our future was held in the Hands of a Loving Energy that took immeasurable, never-ending care of you.

What if our so-called “normal” state – which has been described as “the rumble of panic underneath everything” (Ernest Becker – The Denial of Death) – were to shift into absolute TRUST in God – or whatever you call the unnameable energy that animates everything.

There would be NO PAST to fear the future WITH!  The present would be all that we have – a TRUE Gift.

A REAL Present. I am ready for THIS Gift.  I am willing to accept a TRUE Gift.  “Every breath is a Gift” – that’s what the sticker on my laptop says!  The other sticker says “WE ARE BLESSED” – yes, we are! – because we can always accept the Present.

The Gift of NOW.  

Namaste, My Love,
Kathie & Paul P.S.  When I read this to Paul (I usually do) we were just about to do the next ACIM Lesson – 195 – “Love is the way I walk in Gratitude”.  I love this delicious bit in this Lesson: “Then let our brothers lean their tired heads against our shoulders as they rest a while.  We offer thanks for them.  For if we can direct them to the peace that we would find, the way is opening at last to us.  An ancient door is swinging free again…”

Kathie Scott

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What Is Letting Go?

What Is Letting Go?

What Is Letting Go?

SO, HOW ARE YOU?

How are you coping with what you’re seeing on TV, Facebook, Twitter, Whatever?

Ya, me too.  Just sorta/kinda holding my breath.  All the time. 

Which made the Breathwork weekend especially timely.  Trevor Yelich holds a very safe space, which made taking a really BIG breath a really good thing!

We used Dyads to start this Breathwork – in a dyad, two people sit across from each other and take turns contemplating/communicating, asking/listening.  

The Listener provokes the Contemplator into communication through direct questions, replying ONLY with “Thank you”  to acknowledge the thoughts ~ and then the roles are switched.  

So you can imagine that the questions are most important.  And behaviours.  All temptation to rescue anyone from silence or to lead them where you think they should go, resisted.  Listen only; no “teaching”, no “talking” ~ and no reacting!  No nodding.  No smiling.  No nuthin’. Just listen.  NO emotional content.  That, in itself, is an event.  Another is KEEPING your attention on the other.  Completely.  This is “live inquiry“… 

Our theme this weekend was LETTING GO. 

HERE ARE THE SERIES OF QUESTIONS WE USED:


1)  Tell me what’s up…  Contemplator communicates any feelings that are present…
2)  Tell me what “letting go” is… Contemplator communicates what occurs to them…
3)  I invite you to let go…  Contemplator sits in/with this offer…
4)  Tell me how that feels…  Contemplator explores what this offer provoked…
5)  What is going on for you… Contemplator expresses direct exploration of the moment…

It made for a juicy weekend.  LOVED the Friday night session.  Had a less impactful Saturday morning session, and just could NOT participate on Saturday afternoon.  Why not?  Well, I had been triggered by something in my life into some anger which created some fear and then  I didn’t like the music.  That’s right.  Ridiculous, right?  Its interesting to see what we do when triggered, isn’t it?  I couldn’t deny I was triggered, but I still wanted it ALL to be about something outside of me.  I contemplated not returning Sunday.  Yup.

And what I came to during my contemplation of my REACTION was that I was really triggered by the Dyads.  And what I believe “letting go” IS.  

And the thought that I have NEVER let go of ANYTHING in my life didn’t seem like an exaggeration at all.  

And as I checked in with the group Sunday morning, what came through was that what Letting Go is NOT, is pushing AWAY.  

I realized that many of the aspects of self that I WANT to let go of are parts of my self that were created to protect during childhood.  And that these pieces of my self were not necessarily READY, not PREPARED, to go and they were in fact horrified that I keep insisting they go – and are heartbroken I don’t even have the courtesy to say “Thank you” – as suffering CREATED and these inner BEINGS have been abandoned, despised, rejected or USED in a PANIC when the particular fear that created them is poking their wound.  

They can’t just go away because I want to LET GO of the behaviours!  

And so the Sunday Breathwork was a long (3-hour) peace-making with my inner daycare, and high school, and another step in right relationship to them.  

And so the Sunday Breathwork was the best I’ve ever experienced.  Ever.

From deep within, as a witness to myself as a body, this vehicle for breath, my awareness goes to another in the room who is making loud sounds…then I’m aware that my Awareness to another is ALWAYS present, but my attention to the Awareness to the Other EXCITES the EVER-Present Awareness.

This was so cool.

There was the sensation of physically expanding.  Well beyond the body.  Witness to Awareness.

And this Awareness INFORMED the mourning through COMPASSION for the other…then for ALL.

This Awareness informed the awareness of the suffering, with DETACHMENT, yet FULL Awareness, and each cry was FULLY expressed, the nuance of every drop of suffering fully FELT with and by the compassionate Awareness.

What was left was a sense of detachment from the suffering and the feeling of a JOB WELL DONE.  Truly spent, fully felt, clearly seen.

And LET GO WITH LOVE.  At last.  Again.

Letting go with Love – from your Heart! – IS the Awareness’s PURPOSE!

Gratitude is the gift of letting go.

To me, Gratitude is a STATE, a RESULT of something – usually a change of perception.   A glimpse of forgiveness for your Self AND what you are letting go OF!  A RESPITE from suffering.

There is a knowing that what we TRULY are IS that Awareness that we can became AWARE of, and its another step forward in healing the wounds that drive.

Is our ONLY real RESPONSE-ABILITY here to HEAL from the thought that we are NOT Awareness, aware of itself, experiencing itself, and BE FULLY ABLE, in Awareness, to shift the FLOW of our Awareness with our ATTENTION? Hehehe.  Maybe even I didn’t follow that.

So much simpler when the Breath has swept some space into the SELF, in the Heart of the Matter.

And it is always right there! Right under your nose! 

Breathe Deeply, Dear Friend
Kathie

Kathie Scott

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Are We Out Of Integrity?

Are We Out Of Integrity?

Are We Out Of Integrity?

This Morning

This morning I read an article on Cultural Appropriation. An appropriate opinion from the writer in many ways, was that what white people are freely using in their everyday lives are objects First Nations people could have been killed for using, not all that long ago. And what a macabre thing that is.

And I do agree. I do.

And as we move forward as “spiritual warriors” in our Life’s Work of Awakening to who we truly are and to help others know this too, we too use the tools of the Indigenous. We hope with respect.

But I’d like to make one point that has been in my awareness for a few years now – since I found out more about the history of my family that came here from “Great” Britain.

As I try to make sense of this, I see that in some ways, we white people were the FIRST culture to be stripped of their “ways”. We were sent all over the world as slaves for the elite. My grandmother, Florence Howe, came to Canada as an indentured child – at 8 years of age she was shipped to Southern Ontario from England and placed in a home as a housemaid. She nearly died from the labour she was expected to do each day and the poor conditions she lived in, compared to her “hosting” family. As the story goes, she was saved by an intervention. Another white woman in the community confronted my grandmother’s owner at church and said “You’re going to kill that child. I’m taking her from you.” We aren’t certain, but we think that was my great-grandmother, a gifted healer, who fled England alone in a ship with her 5 children before they could be taken from her by the government when her husband was killed in an accident. 

My great-grandmother

My great-grandmother married a widow, Mr. Mallosh, and blended their families. There’s an amazing picture of this huge family of people who are clearly loved, and loving being part of their community. You can see they feel safe. My great-grandmother’s obituary described her as a “Mother of Israel” – a beloved healer who never turned anyone away and who did so much for the “children from England”.

My great-grandmother clearly still held some of her “ways” and died while making a mustard poultice for a neighbor.

On my mother’s side, all we know is my grandfather’s mother was Native American and nothing else about her. We can only imagine what that was like for her.

And when the massive enslavement of the white people was complete, we were groomed to do this in turn to the rest of the people of the world, for the benefit of the elite. By then, we were giving our power away so massively, that our “white” culture was gone too. Lost. We too, are just rediscovering who we were, before the great plan to control every person on this planet was rolled out.

And as this massive machine spread around the world, and culture after culture faced demolition and enslavement, a fire grew. We are the generation that is fanning the flames that, time after time, have almost gone out.

And since we were the first to face this enslavement, and the race used to manage and maintain it, we are obviously, due to our elevated position as the enforcers of the plan, the race with the most freedom, and we are using that now, to free us all

And yes, it is messy…

And yes, it is messy. There are missteps. And we are stupid in our efforts at times. But we truly are trying to free humanity.

And so, we appropriate the tools of the more recently indentured cultures. Partially, because we have lost, or are dumb, to our own.

This is coming up so strongly now as we “go to market” with our Cacao Journey Meditation.

We created this meditation from our experiences as we traveled this path of Awakening – we went to the Oneness University in India, which is where the foundation came from….a 5,000-year old meditation called Ananda Mandala.

We added to it, the Quantum Touch 12-Chakra concept as “downloaded” by a medium who the QT creator, Richard Gordon, studied with.

We take Cacao – pure, raw chocolate that is melted just enough to drink – from the South Americas, where we understand the Mayans used cacao for shifting consciousness, and as a superfood that did so much more than you can imagine a drink ever could.

Chocolate soon became appropriated in a way that does not honour it either – heated until its properties are lost, filled with sugar, processed beyond repair, we give it to our loved ones on Valentine’s Day. Why? Because cacao is known to be a superfood that opens the heart! It is filled with chemicals that mix with the body in such a way that the heart opens and the mind relaxes and a true peace is possible with its assistance. That is not what is in a box or a bar, trust me. Another appropriation that goes largely unrecognized.

We blend ancient sounds – Solfeggio and Fibonacci tones that were deliberately eliminated from our repertoire as they brought states of consciousness that didn’t assist in our subjugation. Didgeridoo and Native American chanting, to honour the people who knew how to live an Awakened Life, before we tried to completely destroy their ways. They are present and honoured and they create a field for us to travel within.

And as the “police” on the planet, the white people have the freedom to do more now to assist in the Great Shift. We are being clamped down on too, but we are still running through the matrix, like a leaking tap that just can’t be turned off.

And in our eagerness, in the loss of our own ways, and in our ignorance, we appropriate other cultures. Don’t shoot the messenger. Don’t put another savior on a cross. Work with us.

And in our eagerness, in the loss of our own ways, and in our ignorance, we all don’t always see how we’re insulting those we’re trying to save. Including ourselves.

We can do better than this. The reclamation of humanity is a process. We can all see we’re trying to restore, not destroy and dishonour. And the deepest program, the financial greed we’ve been groomed for, is still in our psyches, and is bleeding out all over this beautiful mission of humankind.

And so we, our Quantum Family, are holding this very carefully. Looking for our piece in it. It has been 6 years since we first started pulling the pieces of this meditation together. And people have just stopped asking when the meditation will be available for purchase for private use. Because we needed to come to this place – this place of honouring. This place of acknowledging we too, we white people, we too have been enslaved and our freedom cannot be at the cost of another culture’s, another people’s, dignity.

And we see that all the people of this world will need to stop drawing boundaries of mine and yours. And we see that all the people of this world will do that, when we bow to one another in acknowledgment of our collective gifts, and how they will heal our collective suffering.

Thank you for gathering with us as we effort imperfectly along this path.

Thank you for your patience as we reach our integrity.

Thank you for listening and truly hearing.

Aho.

Namaste.

Love & Blessings,
Kathie Scott
Just Another Mama
Vancouver, Canada 

Kathie Scott

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